The following is taken from <C51MtE.FCw@willamette.edu>, a posting to alt.willamette.religion.tiltology. It originally came from willamette.news -- this was a reposting.
In article <BzDJ88.3yG@willamette.edu> bbrown@willamette.edu (Brian Brown) writes:
In article jtilton@willamette.edu (James (Eric) Tilton) writes:
"So now what? Willamette.lisp? Willamette.ai? Willamette.aieee? Willamette.religion.tiltology?"
Brian replied:
Hmm, are we going on a little ego trip here, Eric?
Also, I would like to know what your name actually is. In the mail thing above, notice that it is James (Eric) Tilton, but your .sig below describes your name as being (James) Eric Tilton. What do we parenthesize?!
To which I felt constrained to reply:
In an effort to make a long thread out of a short comment >=), and to to hey! start some crossposting, here is the
Lo! And in the beginning there was Birth, and It Was Good; although there were some, Who Were Known Thenceforth As Heretics, and yea! as Little Brothers, who did Not Agree; and the Punishment for that was the Wedgie and the Noogie.
And Upon the Birth, did the Holy Doctor turn to the Parents, and say! "What shalt be the Name of this Child?" And, being as the Name of the Father was James, it was known thenceforth that the Name of the Child, too, would be James. And, being as the Name of No-One already related to the Child was Eric, it was thenceforth known that the Name of the Child, too, would be Eric. And it was Good, and to those who did not agree were the Usual Punishments.
And it Did Come to Pass that, upon the Ascenscion of the Child into Childhood, that He Did come to be Named Eric, by those who Associated with Him--for it was found that Unto Him the Appelation James did Not Stick, for it did Confuse those of Simpler Minds with the Appelation of the Father. And so, in time, did the Child take the Name of Eric for his Own, and it also Came to Pass that the Name of James did fade unto Obscurity.
It was thus for Many Years, until the Era of the Standardized Tests, and the Millenia of the Full Legal Name, upon Whence the Name of James did yea! need to be Wrenched Back from Obscurity, to take the place of the Legal First Name; and so, too, did the Name Eric become relegated but to the Middle Initial Here Please. And it was not good.
For not some few Years had the situation been thusly, with the Legal Appelation being James, whilst the Personal Name remained firmly with Eric, and it did not Sow Confusion until the Era of the Internetting. For, upon application for the Sacred User Name, it did thus Call For the Full Legal Name, and it was thus naively decided to give it Thus: "James Tilton", from whence sprang the Appelation to Which most of thou art familiar.
And yet, this too was not good--and so, e-mailed in the Era of the Fall Semester was a Sacrifice of Many Bytes, and a Plea for Leniency, upon which the Gist which of was "Oh Mighty Dan, Whose Name I Shalt Never Take In Vain, Except Late At Night When /Var, /Tmp, and /Home/Jupiter/Student are filled to Brimming, If It Please Your Ineffableness to Change the Sacred and Untouchable Full Name, it Would Cheer Me Greatly," and it was done, and it was Good.
Yet still, there remained unto the Daemon "chfn" one last trick to parlay, and it was thusly: Instead of the desired "(James) Eric Tilton", instead was entered "James (Eric) Tilton", and still the Legal Name was dominant.
But there is still Hope in the World, for thusly does it Snow Outside, and thusly are the Ducks aplenty, and thusly exists the following alias, "etilton", which Causes the Great God Jupiter to understand to mean "jtilton", and for it to be good; and yea! for those of you who Dost Enquire as to the Parentheticisms, I would advise you Thusly--Indeed I am "(James) Eric Tilton", and it would not do to Parentheticize my name in Vain.
-(j)et-- / (James) Eric Tilton, Student AND /O\ \ | Willamette University Student Liason, WITS /---\ | | Class of '95 - CS/Hist /FNORD\ | \ Internet -- jtilton@willamette.edu /_______\ /
Now that I'm at CMU, this rant will probably make no sense, since my login ID is now "tilt", and I'm de-emphasizing the whole middle/first name thing. But it's still a good rant, so deal with it.